August 20, 2019 3 min read

Baby soothing without crying - The Chair Method Baby soothing without crying - The Chair Method Hi lovelies! As a new mom you hear so much advice and information that sometimes becomes overwhelming. For example “make sure you teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep if not you’ll be his slave for years”, “do the cry-out technique, he won’t  remember anything he is just a baby”. And I think every parent should find what suits them best. We heard about the sleeping method where you put your baby in his bed and then say night-night and leave him. Once he starts crying you’d wait few min and then go back in to console him...and do this until he falls asleep. Well.... we have tried and those were the most horrible 15min !! Walking back to see him every few minutes but his crying was getting worse and worse. I am a believer that excessive crying can have consequences. That moment I decided we will use a different approach. The one that doesn’t involve leaving your baby. I want him to feel I am/we ate always there. So searched online and found a Chair Method some also Disappearing Chair Method. The chair method involves sitting in a chair next to your child as he falls asleep. Every few days, you move the chair a bit further away from him so that he begins to learn 1) to fall asleep with less interaction with you, and 2) that even when you disappear from sight, you're still close by, so he can rest easy.
  • Days 1-3: Set a chair directly next to the crib. You can touch your child intermittently, but do not pick him up, and do not touch him constantly, as this will create a new sleep association. Limit how much you talk to him; instead try to just “shhh.” Do not look him in the eye as this is quite stimulating. If he stands up, you may lay him back down once, but do not do so repeatedly, as this will feel like a game for him.
  • Days 4-6: Move the chair halfway toward the door. No longer touch your child (as you should be too far away to do so), but you may continue to “shhh” him and occasionally talk to him if you feel it is necessary.
  • Days 7-9: Move the chair to the doorway, just inside the room. You may still "shhh" him and talk to him, but try to do so less often than before.
  • Days 10-12: Move the chair outside of the room but still in view. Delay any responses to your child as much as possible.
  • Days 13+: Stay in the hall or a nearby room. Delay responses a bit more than you previously were. If necessary, check on your child, but do so from the doorway if possible.
    via Sleepingchildsaneparent
WHAT WE DID however is a bit different: We stayed by his bed and rocked it until he fell asleep. We also humm - make sounds with our voices when he wants to start crying and he immediately stops. Now we started to decrease the rocking to only the last part before he falls asleep. We haven’t done the “disappearing chair” yet but will try to decrease communicating with him and then move out further if this will be successful. I guess everyone has to find their own pace and methods that are suitable for their babies. We want to show our Nicolai that we are here next to him and want him to feel safe and happy therefore we wouldn’t choose any other methods than this one. Hope this helps❤️

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