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November 13, 2019 4 min read

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Hi everyone! If you were following my Instagram Stories then you know by now that I have gotten a bacterial infection in Mexico and had to be treated with injections and very strong antibiotics for 6 days. The doctor told me that I am NOT allowed to breastfeed while treatment is still in place. Not only was I in severe stomach pain, nauseated and could barely walk I also had to deal with the shock of cutting my baby's breastfeeding in 1 day. Interesting thing is that prior to Mexico I wanted minimising breastfeeding once we're back from our trip and continuing until he's 12month, however this was a total shock and not how I wanted it to happen. Nicolai is in emotional distress he doesn't understand why I am not breastfeeding, he keeps pulling my sweater and hugging me while crying and this breaks my heart. I never thought that this would be so difficult. I feel like crying most of the days when I see him like that. He could be fine most of the day and then in a moment he would turn towards my chest and start grabbing and crying. I also have to thank Matej for being THE BEST husband. While I was in bed all day he and Niki were together all day, they went outside resort with a cab to search for a shopping mall to find a breast pump and a formula. Also we had to buy a new bottle and Matej managed to find the best one with a natural tip that is very similar to a nipple. Nicolai never liked formula (I guess he is not one of the babies that stops breastfeeding as soon as you give them the bottle lol) but he is somehow coping with this formula. He drinks it but only when necessary as seems he is not a fan. So I guess we will continue giving him mixed veggies, fruit etc during the day and night time he'll get the bottle. Only now I see that my perception of bottle being the easy way out was not true. Now I see it is harder as you have to wake up, go to the kitchen to prepare the bottle etc. while with breastfeeding you just roll over to the side and continue sleeping while baby is being breastfed. I had a long thought what I wanted to do and since the fact I wanted to breastfeed for two more months and now was forced to stop for a week - I decided to stop breastfeeding completely because I don't want to put Nicolai through the same suffering again in two months. So there you have it. My story how I stopped breastfeeding and definitely not how I wanted it to be as I wanted to cut the breastfeeding slowly but as we had to stop in a day and be completely without it - I will continue this way, sadly. There you have it my lovelies. Fingers crossed that our journey will get easier.
SLO] Hej dragi moji. Tisti, ki mi sledite na Instagramu veste, da sem v Mehiki dobila infekcijo kjer sem bruhala toliko dolgo, dokler mi niso dali inekcij ter mi priskrbeli najmočnejše antibiotike katere moram jemati 6 dni. Zdravnica mi je rekla da niti pod razno NE smem dojiti dokler jemljem antibiotike. Ne samo to, da sem se matrala zaradi bolečin v želodcu, slabosti in da sem komaj hodila...nato pa še dejstvo, da sem mogla ukiniti dojenje v enem samem dnevu. Zanimivo je to, da sem še pred Mehiko govorila, da bomo počasi začeli zmanjševati dojenje vse do njegovega 12meseca (Nicolai je star 10mes). Vendar nehati dojiti na silo je pa grozno in ne način kako sem želela zmanjšati dojenje. Nicolai je v stresu, joka, ko si želi dojenja in hkrati vleče moj pulover k sebi saj ne razume zakaj ga ne morem dojiti. Za dojenčka dojenje ni le hrana ampak tudi crkljanje, bližina z mamo. Zadnje dneve bi najraje samo jokala. Zato, ker smo bili nekako prisiljeni v to situacijo, ker vidim kako je Nikiju težko, ker je nama z Matejem hudo in zato ker vem, da ko enkrat zmanjka zaloge mleka bo konec in potem pride tisti 1% dvoma ali naj končam ali naj poskušam dalje. D27ED0D0-83B4-4C82-A04F-BA878BDA3DDC Moram se zahvaliti Mateju ker je najboljši mož. Medtem, ko sem ležala v hotelski sobi in se spopadala z bruhanjem, bolečino itd. sta se z Nikijem cel dan družila sama, brez da bi Niki opazil, da me ni zraven. Poleg tega pa sta se odpeljala s taksijem ven iz rezorta iskat nakupovalno središče za pumpico za črpanje mleka, formulo ter novo flaško. Mateju je celo uspelo najti najboljšo kjer ima cucelj imitacijo bradavice. Nicolai nikoli ni bil fen flašk, kje šele formul (ponavadi dojenčki hitro prešaltajo iz maminega mleka na formulo ampak izgleda da naš Niki ne) tako, da sem vesela, da je sprejel formulo. Sicer jo pije le ponoči po potrebi, ni pretirano nor na to mleko. Tako, da čez dan bomo vztrajali s hrano (zmiksano sadje, zelenjavica itd.) pooči pa flaško. Kako hecno, da sem bila včasih mnenja, da je mamicam s flaško lažje. Češ bolj nasitno mleko, daš prd spanjem in spijo medtem ko pri dojenju se obrneš na bok in zaspiš nazaj medtem ko se doji. Vendar nisem pomislila na vstajanje, priprava flaške itd.. Po dolgem razmisleku sem se odločila, da bo (verjetno) to konec dojenja. Ker sem imela v planu dojiti do maksimalno 1 leta in dejstvo da je Niki star 10mesecev si ne predstavljam, da bi morali skozi isto moro še enkrat. Na žalost smo bili v to situacijo vrženi in še vedno me preseneča kako hudo mi je pri srcu ampak verjetno bodo to razumele le mamice. To je to dragi moji. Držite pesti, da bo z vsakim dnem lažje.  

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